Just talking about that stupid cupcake yesterday has seemed to have had an impact on Ms. Scale today... ha...stupid woman, she is so picky! (Yes, I believe my scale is female... why else would she have it out for me?!?!)
Anyway... I do believe that my scale is on to something. I realized this morning that clearly she is not happy with the amount of exercise I have been getting. Which, mind you, is more exercise then I ever got in 2009, or really, ever. I try every day to get on my Wii fit board and spend 30 minutes hula hooping, rhythm boxing or my absolute favorite... rhythm stepping. :)
...*We interrupt this blog for a soapbox* I will NEVER understand why the makers of the Wii Fit game thought it was a good idea to make the Wii Fit board a sarcastic, whiny, little woman. As if the way they puff my mii up to look like a pink marshmallow in glasses wasn't enough, the asinine little sound it makes EVERY TIME I step on the board really pushes me over the edge. With that one little sound you make me regret purchasing you (not really, but almost). Sometimes I feel like telling the inanimate object, "look, if you've got something to say to me then just spit it out... we all apparently know now that I'm a big girl so I can more than handle it". *And done*...
Anyway that little Wii Fit is a wonderful invention and I would be perfectly content with rhythm stepping my way to skinniness, but I digress. I believe it's going to take much more than that. So next week we will start going to an actual gym and getting on equipment that is more boring than a conversation with a sloth. But I am quite certain that if I push myself, I will enjoy 30 minutes on an elliptical while Carrie Underwood is belting out Cowboy Casanova on my iPod.
3.8lbs down 56.2 to go! (all I have to say about that is good grief!)
It is completely not normal for a woman to share her actual weight so I guess judging by the title of this post I have thrown normal out the window. But that's ok because on Jan. 2, when I started this whole thing the scale read 207 (YIKES!!!). So 5lbs in a little under 2 weeks is a big deal, right? Good I'm glad we agree on that!
But let me tell you about an even bigger deal... 3 days ago I said no to a cupcake. It was liberating. Nathan and I went to Starbucks before small group and in the display case along side their variety of pastries and breads was the cutest little cupcake I'd ever seen (ok that may or may not be a slight exaggeration, but it was cute). Just looking at it in the case I could hear the angels starting up a course of hallelujah.
It's name was french vanilla something (I really am horrible with names). It was yellow cake with thick white swirls of icing and little crystal sprinkles that sparkled behind the glass. I am sure Nathan thought I stared at it for what seemed like hours, but there was this battle raging in my mind.
How many calories do I have left for the day? Am I going to still enjoy this cupcake when I step on the scale in the morning and it reads 250 rather then 201? Is eating this cupcake going to require 1500 more rotations of the hula hoop on Wii fit? These were all the important questions I had to ask myself before making any decision. And to my complete surprise the answer that came out of my mouth when Nathan asked if I was going to get the cupcake was NO! No, no, no a thousand times NO! It's totally ok to applaud me now! With one last triumphant glance I walked away and left that little cupcake in the case for someone else to enjoy.
This may sound like a silly victory for most but for me it was HUGE! It showed me that I really am dedicated to this getting healthy resolution. So if you're ever at the Starbucks at the Summit feel free to say hello to that little cupcake for me - I don't plan on visiting it anytime soon!
We are now 7 days into the new year and I am just now getting around to my first blog of the year, LAME I know, but all 3* of you who actually read this blog will deal just fine.
*3 people as in me, my husband and maybe my mom, on occasion.
I've never really been a fan of New Year's resolution, in fact most years I vowed my only resolution would be not to make one. Ahh but 2010 is very different. Going against all of my better judgement I have made a New Year's resolution..DRUM ROLL PLEASE...I have vowed this year to lose 60lbs. (yes you read that correctly). My goal is to lose 60lbs by next Jan. 1, and this blog is going to keep me accountable to that.
So I invite you to sit back and enjoy reading about this little adventure I'm going on. And by adventure I mean hilarity.
I have been learning many things about the character of God in the last few days, so much in fact, that for the first time in a very long time my soul is peaceful and hope abounds.
Sometimes I wish that the seasons of life flowed as elegantly as the seasons of weather. But alas many times the seasons of life are nothing close to elegant. My current season: frustration. Webster defines frustration as: a deep chronic sense or state of insecurity and dissatisfaction arising from unresolved problems or unfulfilled needs. Yep look it up for yourself my picture is right next to that definition; and then it dawns on me that I'm frustrated with God. Oh great...
This life I’m living would be much better lived if I only knew the plan – or would it? There have been many days in the past few months were God and I have had this type of conversation:
Erin: (whining) Please God – you already know what is going to happen can you please just let me see the sneak peek?!
God: No you have to trust me!
Erin: Well yes I’m aware that I have to trust you – but that would be a whole lot easier if I just knew what you were up too...
God: No, you have to trust me!
So here I am arguing with the God of the universe all because I am the poster child for control freaks. I want it done my way, in my timing and with my ideas. While there are some areas of my life that have been easily manipulated by my “control freakness” (namely middle & high school) I can no longer manipulate any of the situations in my life to allow me absolute control, but more importantly God is teaching me that I don't want the control.
A few days ago my husband and I watched the movie Facing the Giants it shook me to the core. I love the way God speaks to us in the simplest of ways. I have watched Facing the Giants like 40 times, but every single time God speaks to me differently. Watch the video.
The reason I don't know the plan or don't have control is because God knows if I was doing it on my own I would have given up a LONG time ago (the very same reason the player had to wear a blindfold) - I would have given up and settled for less then God's best. You know letting go of control is scary. I don't know what or where or how I will be doing in 10 years; however I do know that whether I feel like I'm victorious or I feel like I'm loosing - I will trust God because He is the only one with the Goodyear Blimp view. (sorry the cheesy sports reference was too easy)
Everyday I have to trust that no matter what comes my way, how I feel, what crapy thing may happen - God will still love me, He'll want the very best for my life and He will be enough for me. So I choose that in EVERY season - no matter the ups or the downs- I will let go of control. I vow to not peek our from the bottom of the blindfold, I won't cheat and try to do it on my own - God will get me to the end zone when His timing is right.
It's not about being the best, having the most,it's about trusting God.
That's a big enough confession for today...
That's a great question! And the honest answer is I have no clue. Ladybugs just make me smile!
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